I have had to live like a man all my life- to survive and protect my vulnerabilities.
My strength has always come from a reaction to that or to reset my course when I found myself off my path.
I have finally arrived at a place where I have wisdom of self and an understanding of what I need and am safe enough to let go of the defences and walls.
This healing process has opened a channel of love peace and true strength to allow me the grace to experience my womanhood in the fullest of ways and to move forward in my truest and most natural authentic ways- who I always was and knew myself to be underneath the struggles and horrors.
I have been figure skating in my dreams, what a fantastic feeling.
When I was a child I had the keys to the arena office and I use to go there by myself when I was 10-13 put on the music full blast, all alone in the rink and skate and skate, fully connected in harmony and sync with myself, it gave me solace and distance from my suffering and pain and helped me endure it
-Much like meditation does for me now.