When I opened the business in 2008 on the heels of my divorce, in the same moments of receiving my very ill brother into my care and while still being a witness on two criminal matters in relation to Juli-Anna’s life and death I knew I had people who could if they so wished and would manipulate my personal information, immediate and past as well as the professional matters I was involved.
For all my life prior I had been a very private simple person with complex and challenging family members who I cared for through my entire life and attempted to help in their difficulties.
I rarely spoke of my past though I worked diligently to come to terms with my life story, the people in it and the healing I needed to take myself through to allow me to the freedom to live my life in the best Way possible. I was very proud of myself.
I knew however that if I became a public person I would be at risk of the people in my life using my private information in a public Way to hurt me if I did not become authentic, transparent and honest about my Life story given the type of work I do. It was an enormously difficult and challenging decision to make in the most difficult time of my LIfe but in the end it came down to this Line. If I build a life and business on my land and someone decides to take my personal information and try to hurt me it may negatively affect me and my business.
If the community does not accept me the Way I am and for the story I have lived now, they never will. So I took matters into my own hands tested the Winds of Fate at a time when the Winds had not even opened the doors on the concepts of Mindfulness, Vulnerability and Authenticity globally and began the journey of publicly integrating My Life Long personal Truth and Professional Truth.
Coming to today, I am seeing the worthiness and validity of that decision though I questioned it greatly for many years.
Nearly each week someone who was a part of my past will attempt to threaten me with what they perceive to be Truth and go public with it. I say go ahead, please do. Then I will have the opportunity to say my Truth of how you were behind closed doors.
So grateful to not be living a life behind closed doors.
Lori Ellis~ McKinney (2018)